Why is coitus always the most important for men? Why do they always want THAT?
Among women, this question arises very often and not without reason, since nearly all of us have experienced this phenomenon.
Men always want THAT!
Yes, this is true, and it will not change either! Men expedite the development of a physical relationship and go to limitless extents in order to lure us between the sheets, even if we protest against it, or deem the behavior inappropriate. No matter how much we wish it weren’t so, there isn’t anything we can do in objection to the goal-driven actions of men. This is an ancient programming of the human subconscious. We must accept that this is how it has been since the beginning of time and how it will remain until the end of time.
However, if we become a bit more open and focus our energy towards understanding and getting to know this programming, then we not only learn how to handle this phenomenon but can even transform it into our advantage. And before we forget, this way, we have better chances of finding a partner who fits us the best.
However surprising, sexual intercourse can be an excellent test of both parties’ intentions.
Men think that if they are successful in urging us into bed after the first (few) date(s), then we are suitable for only one enjoyable night, as we have satisfied their needs early on. On the contrary, if we resist their attempts for two months, meaning that he can’t have us — and we fill this time with interesting, productive, exciting programs, intelligent conversations — we may achieve that the man comes to us because we feed his intrigue and offer something motivating. This way, the man attains a fascinating woman, who allows him a privileged glance behind the curtains of a mysterious personality, someone he can fight for and sustains his interest.
It does indeed occur, that a man is not looking for anything beyond a physical relationship. It usually happens when he just came out of a long-term relationship, and his processing of this is still underway. This can even take one or two years, and during this period, men usually do not want to make commitments. God save every woman from such men — but worry not, for we effectively apply the coition test, and turn it into our advantage. How do we do that?
After a man gets over the critical period of a break-up, he starts to feel a certain emptiness, which only a woman’s softness, attention, and thoughtful care can fill. At this time, he begins the search again and yearns to find meaning in his life. In the beginning, before his determination has really solidified, his efforts are debilitated. One of the ways his attempts manifest is inviting us to join them, as the previously mentioned, “bed-test”. Men don’t think about this and carry out behaviors functionally rather than emotionally, led by instinctual desires more than anything else.
On a date, when we are called to bed by a seductive voice, let’s be very cute, pleasant, and sweet, but reject the invitation, and say no to the words of temptation. Afterward, it will instantly become clear whether he wants us or only THAT. If, after rejection, he is still interested in spending time together, because he enjoys our company, then he is truly interested in our personality. On the other hand, if he disappears without any contact, then he only wanted THAT. Do not be afraid to use this test because you can save yourself from painful disappointments and unnecessary illusions.
If your intentions are serious, do not be afraid to test the man, and vice versa, be tested in return. The test can provide certainty for both parties. Examine whether he is tenacious enough to meet again and whether he actively seeks to continue and maintain a relationship. Men are motivated by what they can do with us, how they feel in our company. They are interested in getting to know how much they would enjoy spending time with us, how pleasing it would be, once a commitment is made. Every time you meet — let it be a dinner or a walk in the park — they evaluate how interesting, exciting, attractive, or even, boring you are. Can you have a nice conversation (do you share common interests), have a laugh together, do they enjoy your company, can you collaborate effectively? In the future, 99% of our days will consist of these situations and not copulation.
At this time the question may emerge, “If he is always suggesting to get to bed, and only wants THAT, then what should I do for the tenth date?”. In return, I ask, “If you don’t know what to do with him on the tenth date, what will you do in ten years?”
In a relationship, it is very important that we understand how men operate, what they look for in a woman, what they like, and what makes them happy. If they are really interested in us, they will take the rejection as a challenge and think, “Oh wow, I must fight for this woman. She may just be The One”.
Men will always try the bed-test, but this is solely for their own emotionless entertainment. (Except for the ones, who are contemptible jerks, and make a habit out of hounding women, but they are not worth taking into account.) If we fall for the flattering words enticing us to bed and misguidedly think that if we offer ourselves, they will stay beside us, we open ourselves up to major disappointments. Don’t allow fear to overtake, and surrender wanting to fulfill expectations at all costs. Worship yourself, be a goddess! Know your worth, be confident, believe in yourself, and let men fight for you.
My book titled 99% Be the One!, provides guidance to women on understanding the “inner workings” of men. It gives insight on how to transform into a “Queen”, as well as illuminates how to control men, achieve your goals in relationships, ask from the other, and how to live in a happy and balanced partnership.
Every word of it is written from a place of love. Have a marvelous day!