How do we preserve our relationship during quarantine shelter in place?
The developments of the pandemic crisis culminate in a number of emotional consequences, which we experience daily. We inherently fear illnesses; anxiety levels can rise within us due to the apocalypse-like circumstance, along with the pressure of the economic downfall, not to mention the asperities of personal life.
The mandatory home quarantine can greatly challenge our relationships. Unspoken resentments and previously dormant conflicts may intensify. The Coronavirus, therefore, can quickly become a test of stress in couples and even lead to separation.
What do we do in order to safeguard our relationship?
1. Create structured routines at home!
– Change out of your pajamas, put on your makeup (there is plenty of time for that now), and create a list of your goals for the day.
– Complete various tasks in differing environments as much as it is possible for you.
– Take care of your body. Eat healthily and exercise (even if it means using online resources to help you), or simply stretch and meditate.
2. Designate a secluded space for yourself, where you can retreat into privacy.
If possible, appoint a place within your home, in the case that you are in need of peaceful, quiet solitude. This does not equate being distant or impersonal towards our partner, but rather indicates we are merely giving ourselves the opportunity to take care of ourselves. This is a healthy measure we are taking, which serves to maintain the personal boundaries we have set.
3. Be mindful of yourself and your partner.
Generally, our pet peeves, or the things that soothe us, do not match one another. The problem escalates when the method with which one party soothes him or herself pushes the panic button in the other person. Physical proximity increases the chances of stressed reactions, and the harshness of arguments may intensify. In this case, it’s worth critically monitoring both our partner and ourselves. Let us examine what we are each afraid of, how we battle issues, and let us avoid the negative loops we have a tendency to wallow in.
4. Clearly communicate feelings and fears.
Let’s be self-aware and recognize our feelings and fears. Instead of feeling ashamed and suppressing emotions, share with your partner. After all, it is important that we are able to own up to our “weaknesses”, especially when circumstances that are out of our control force them upon us.
5. Limit daily media consumption.
Educate yourself exclusively through credible, reliable sources, and focus only on the most up-to-date information. Do not allow social media to overwhelm you. Concentrate on the positive, pay attention to pleasant news, and be grateful for all those who tirelessly work towards solving the current difficult situation as soon as possible.
6. Boredom is not an option!
“I’ll do it when I have the time” is a commonly said phrase in casual conversation. Now, we have been granted time specifically to arrange our clothes, clear out the junk, organize the contents of drawers, clean the windows, or declutter the kitchen cabinets. Let’s attend to everything we’ve kept postponing for later! Start a new home project, or do a great deal of reading (for example, my book, titled 99%, from which you can learn how to control your man, or how you can transform into the “Queen” he would go to any lengths for). This, too, will hold your attention, and steer you away from conflict situations.
7. Prevent burnout!
If you are working from home, establish structured office hours for yourself, and stick to them.
8. Stay connected.
Thanks to technological achievement, we can stay in contact with our coworkers, friends, and loved ones, whether that is through video calls or messaging platforms.
9. Arrange a date at home.
Address the time you have remaining outside of your duties to yourself and your relationship. Primp yourself to become who you have always wanted to be, but your time never allowed. Surprise your partner with a delicious meal and pleasant conversation. The light of a candle can even make the evening intimate. Rediscover one another.
10. Avoid illusions!
Each relationship induces different behavioral patterns within us. This, in and of itself, is neither positive nor negative, but simply derives from two individuals connecting. Each of us enters relationships with different personalities, diverse backgrounds, and various family and relationship models, all of which collide when intersecting one another. These combinations form unique and irreproducible tendencies.
The danger lies in religiously settling into our relationship roles, to the point of sabotaging our opportunities and growth as a unit. Live in the present moment, and steer clear of fantasy projections, which if we cast onto each other, we will be disappointed. Not to mention, we are expecting something unreal in this case.
Quarantine might even enhance our relationship. If we know and understand each other well, we are able to manage the adversities, which possibly arise. If we are able to adopt refreshed perspectives and focus on our partner as well as ourselves, our relationship might even bloom. Beyond that, if we even explore our primary roles as females, we may cultivate a happy and harmonious relationship!
What are female roles, and what is female communication? Discover from my book: 99% Be the One! by Valeria Tari.
Let’s stick together and preserve our relationships!
With Love: Valeria