“One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life. That word is love.”
Often times we are clueless, and on account of our helplessness, we don’t know what we must do to make things better. We feel sad and disappointed, our hearts break, and our souls are damaged. We go through torments, riddled with pain, only to stand at a loss before the world, our eyes red with constant crying. We deserve much better than this! A carefree spirit, joy, passion, smiles, recognition, kindness, appreciation, balance, and happiness.
If I had one wish, it would be for every person on Earth to be happy!
I want you to be happy, too, and experience the miracle that you desire. Live the way that you have always wanted, and have the relationship you have always dreamed of. Experiencing mutual love that is joyous and harmonious brings us an amazing feeling of fulfillment.
Having transformed the man’s role as well, we fail to notice how, in our everyday lives, we are handling matters that should be the business of men. In order for men to remain men, we must recognize the situations that men ought to handle. Then, gently and with female communication, we should get them to tackle these tasks instead of us. This, for instance, is when we carry shopping bags or lift heavy objects.
- In the book, it is revealed why we fail to live out our true desires.
- What must we do in order to achieve our dreams?
- Step by step, we go through the problems in relationships.
- I show what a true woman is like.
- You can read what type of woman men desire.
- Through examples, I deduce what the problem is and how to solve it.
- You understand how men work… and why it is that they only think about sex.
- I reveal how you can be the “Queen” alongside your “King.”
- I describe the traps we often step into and how to avoid them.
- You can come to know how to guide a man.
- You can learn how to handle conflicts properly.
- You can get a man to appreciate you.
- After reading the book, it is possible that you’ll be a new woman the very next day.
- You will be able to find love.
- You will be able to bring a monotonous, chilly relationship back to life.
“How can I keep a man?”
We tend to believe that in order to keep a man we need wonder-working powers beyond our abilities. Oftentimes, we dread and fear being abandoned, because we believe that we are not good enough, not beautiful enough, or that others are better.
The first secret I must reveal is that a man always remains where he feels good. If he feels good with you, then it will never occur to him to go elsewhere. Our fears, together with the resulting struggles and compulsions, make it difficult for us to be relaxed and liberated. In short, we are not ourselves. We may feel that keeping a man is too great a burden, and that he will only remain beside us if we toil and strain. We start to wash, clean, and iron more and more, forgetting about who we really are. We take on the role of a robot, only snapping to life when something MUST be done. The task only grows bigger and more tiring. It wears us out and leaves us in despair. Once more, we conclude that we’re not good enough, that we’re not able to give enough. That’s not true! We are the best, because there is no better woman than the one he loves. There may be some who are more beautiful, prettier, smarter, but there is no one better. Forget about the burdens (what we MUST do), and forget about suiting or TRYING to suit a man. A healthy man does not want you to suit him or live up to some expectations. He accepts you if you accept yourself. He is happy if you are happy. He is kind if you are kind. Men do not wish to go anywhere else if the time that they spend with you brings them joy. How can we make men feel good with us? We must be liberated and use our femininity to become true women! A man will make a true woman his goddess, take special care of her, do everything for her, and want to give her everything. He wouldn’t dream of leaving her. How can we become true women? The answer is in the book.
“Why do men lie?”
Yes! Men lie. But I would immediately add that women do, too, although we often don’t realize it. Or we prefer to think that when we fib, it’s not as serious as when men lie. Our lies are the most serious when we lie to ourselves. And we often do it to prettify a situation that is already disheartening or exasperating. I write plenty about this in the book, but let’s return, for a moment, to the men. There are many reasons why men lie. Most often, it is when they stray from the path, to put it nicely. When this happens, we really have reason to worry, because it means that something is not right. When we know we have done something that may hurt the other, we are not always paragons of honesty. Neither are men.
When a man does something that he knows will cause us pain, he avoids the truth. When he begins affairs with other women, desires another woman, or innocently looks at and “likes” women’s pictures on the internet; he knows this will hurt us, so he would rather keep it a secret. He will lie even if his interest was completely innocent, or if his intentions were not serious. But if the case isn’t serious, why does he do it at all? Please, don’t misunderstand what I’m about to write. He does it, because there is something not right at home! If everything was fine at home – that is, if he felt good in our company and his time with us was full of joy – then he wouldn’t be interested in new opportunities, he wouldn’t begin searching for something else.
The problem doesn’t begin when the man strays from the path. The problem began much earlier, and the man’s straying is just one result. Naturally, it is possible that the relationship worked that way from the beginning, but then the man is not worthy of us. In that case, it is worth thinking about why we attract such a partner and why we always stay beside them. The other possibility is that the relationship started out well, but it has changed. It’s different, it grew cold, or it deteriorated. The relationship did not develop. Consequently, we no longer share one path. Instead, we began travelling in different directions at some point and then moved steadily apart.
A man may also lie, because he wants to spare us. He feels what he did was hurtful and the outcome will be bad. It may also happen because he broke something (physically or a promise), and he does not want to reveal it. In such cases, essentially, he tries to solve the problem himself; and until he finds a solution that satisfies him, he will spare us by keeping the matter a secret. Because he cannot bear us to be sad (and it hurts him, too, if we’re hurt), he would rather lie.
In general, the reason for their lies is that we would be very sad or cry a lot, and they don’t want that. What should we do? If it turns out the man is lying, we should take it as a warning sign and seek out the cause. Something has broken down, and it must be repaired.
“He made a promise, but didn’t keep it. Why?”
Men love to prove their greatness, that’s why they make such dazzling promises. If this happens at the start of the relationship, they promise everything simply to achieve their aim, to show themselves as they believe they are and to impress us. Oftentimes, they think big words are enough to get into bed with us. And sadly, I must say, it’s often true. Indeed, men know quite well what they have to say to sweep us off our feet. We believe high-sounding promises related to the future and our security, and so we step into the trap without even realizing it. In good cases, we wake up to find the man sleeping beside us. In bad cases, he won’t even stay for breakfast.
It is possible that, in the rapturous state of love, he meant what he said, but this later disappeared into the mists of forgetfulness, because only one goal hovered before his eyes: to make physical contact with us. They often say that whenever a man speaks, he is lying. That’s precisely why we need to get them to act for our sake. In the book, there is a separate chapter about how to spur them action, how to avoid the trap of promises, and what we can do in order to make them keep their promises.
When we are in a relationship, it may also happen that he promises something, but doesn’t do it. There are many reasons for this. It’s possible that he’s got a lot on his mind, or he simply forgot. What for us is a warning sign, however, is if he only makes promises and regularly fails to fulfill them. That is when it’s worth thinking about why it happens. Sadly, in such cases, it seems that we aren’t important to him. He doesn’t appreciate or respect us; instead, he is simply using us. We must uncover this by all means. Otherwise, it could end up ruining our lives. In the book, you can read about how to discover if you are important or just useful to a man. I also write about what you can do to make him appreciate and respect you. You can learn how to be important and how to step out the “useful” role.
Our lives are our own responsibility, and so is whether we tolerate a situation where we are helpless. Change and chances to make change are always possible. It just depends on you and your decision. We choose how we live, and we can choose to be happy as well.
Not all men deserve for us to devote our love and attention to them. A small percentage of men we simply cannot deal with, because their view of the world is so distorted, and any energy we invest in them would be fruitless. They have no conscience, and others simply don’t interest them. They are always on a different path, and they are so damaged that they have no wish to change this. Still, we cannot blame everything on this small percentage, because what happens largely depends on us. We must concentrate on the large portion of men with healthy outlooks. They are the ones we must understand in order to know why things occur.
When healthy relationships begin, we make a decision. I am yours and you are mine, and the man feels exactly the same way. As time goes by, the initially perfect harmony and the initially amazing woman change and transform. After a while beside the man, she will not be the same woman who pledged herself to him at the start. We change, life becomes monotonous, the relationship cools down, or we grow tired. Something breaks down, and the man suddenly decides that things aren’t good the way they are. He feels the need for something new, more vivid, more dynamic, more interesting, something else. He looks for something that will make him feel better. If the need overcomes him, then he will cheat or stray.
Generally, they will make superficial excuses for their infidelity. We hear things like “my wife gained weight” or “she had kids” or “the sex died out” and countless other excuses which are not necessarily the real reason. The majority of infidelity is the result of the woman not giving the man meaningful attention and respect. In everyday language, I could say she doesn’t look up to him. If a woman cannot recognize the man’s greatness, strength, and accomplishments, then she cannot respect him properly. She cannot look up to him. As a result, the man will seek out a woman who will give him this devoted concern. If we cannot appreciate the man, then there is no hope for a long-lasting, harmonious, happy relationship. In order to respect and look up to a man, we must first accept him and be understanding. The exact meaning of the words is very important, because we are unclear on the original definition of many concepts. We misunderstand them, use them badly, and read other things into them besides their actual meaning. To accept someone is not the same as to compromise, and understanding is not the same as agreement. Looking up to a man or respecting him does not mean debasing ourselves or living in a subordinate-dominate relationship. We are confused about many concepts, which I explore in detail in the book. If we understand the precise meaning of words, we can avoid the improper use of them. We also become capable of seeing both men and ourselves from a different perspective. An indispensible building block for a balanced relationship is respect and appreciation for one another. From the book, you may also learn how to show appreciation properly and avoid being cheated on.
“What is the secret to a happy relationship?“
Things that we neglect or ignore become disordered. And what is in disorder, if left to itself, will give rise to chaos, which tends to disintegration and decay. Therefore, what we leave unattended generally falls to pieces. If we think of meat kept in the refrigerator, it is also true. If we don’t do something with it, eventually it will spoil, go bad, and break down. If we deal with it – that is, we cook it and eat it – it will give us energy, which is crucial to our existence. Relationships work the same way. If we do not stay involved and invest energy into our relationships, they will fall to pieces. This is one law that, despite our will, we are unable to change. Similar to the law of gravity, we must accept it as fact.
Because we have so very much to do, we think that there’s no time to stay involved. We are overburdened. We don’t have enough time for ourselves, let alone our relationship. Let’s stop a minute and take a closer look at the situation. What do we see? Job, housework, children, dog, rushing about. Everything takes our energy, and we have no time left for ourselves. Here come the many MUSTs, the obligations that make a relationship monotonous and mundane. We think that we need special powers and abundant energy to maintain a relationship – that we have to sacrifice ourselves or undertake extraordinary obligations. This is not true! First and most importantly, we should be our own first priority. You must be the most important for yourself! After that, we need to free the relationship from all the many obligations. Everything that begins with “It would work if…” counts as am obligation.
From the very start, I would like to state that the book and this website are committed to the goal of helping you. I am with you, and you are important. Possibly, though, I will not write the reply that you would like to hear. I make no promises or guarantees. All I can give are the revelations and experiences that helped me. However, I am certain that many other women can make use of them. The goal is to bring about a solution from another perspective, from a different system of thought, since a solution cannot be generated from any thought pattern that gave rise to the original problem. Consequently, I urge you to read these lines with an open mind and make an effort to take in the information. I believe that I can show what is broken, the reason it broke down, and how to do things differently. I intend for you to be happy, but success depends on you alone.
It would work if…
- I was beautiful,
- I was petty,
- I cooked dinner,
- I raised children,
- I met expectations,
- I was good enough, etc.
These are all obligations which we place on ourselves. Once we are able to free ourselves from these obligations, we can focus our true tasks. When we assume our true roles (I write much about this in the book.), then we may travel a shared path, and not just our own. In traveling our own paths, we move away from each other without even realizing it. However, if we walk a shared path, then we have a common goal, and we progress beside one another. In order for both to stay on the shared path, we need proper communication, love, common aims, understanding, and reciprocity, as well as mutual concern and attention. If we are capable of recognizing ourselves and our partner, then we can proceed in the same direction, but not if we are focused on just ourselves or just the partner.
There are two roles in a relationship, and each must play their own role, their own part. As women, we are capable of guiding the man, even getting him to do what he should be doing. On his own, he doesn’t know what he has to do for the relationship to work well. We are the ones that can help, but only and exclusively through appropriate forms of feminine communication. The book addresses how we can harness this feminine communication and how it is possible to stay on the path towards fulfillment and avoid that of disintegration. If we are capable of being true women, we can succeed at making our relationships long, durable, and happy.